If the NSA Watched Me On the Internet...

M: Why I'm pretty sure most of you guys south of the border don't need to be too panicked about this whole NSA watching every move you make online thing.

L: What the fuck...this is totally normal. I mean, not the Nordstroms part, that place is WAY over my budget, but Amazon...now that place I can afford. Honestly though, there are far worst things I do on the internet...I mean, whaaat?

Owning a Pet is AWESOME.

M: So Lin recently got a puppy. I told her all about how awesome being a pet owner is, how you come to love the little ball of fur that now relies on you for everything and follows you around like a lovesick, scrawny, nerdy teenager who has never been talked to by a girl before. I told her how awesome it is when they curl up next to you on the couch and give you the ability to say you're not drinking alone without lying. What I didn't tell her:

L: That little turd would be out of the house so damn fast if she shit on my carpet. I gotta say though, her following me around like a lovesick teenager is so damn cute but sometimes so damn annoying. It's like I turn around and she's right there like a fucking stalker. Don't event ask how many times I've stepped on her paw by simply moving a quarter of an inch to the left or right. And the cost...holy fuck...goodbye weekend shopping sprees! *crying*