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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

How to Compromise



M: For you single ladies and fellas out there, let me tell you a little secret. There comes a point in any long-term co-habitation - be it roommates, partners or marriage - when you start doing this. Now, you're probably thinking, "aw, that's so sad." Before you rush to judgment, consider this. You want to watch Jaws tonight. Your partner/roommate/husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/pet cactus wants to watch "real" entertainment, like some boring-ass foreign film where everyone fucks each other in another language and then dies. Once you've got the hang of this quirk, you'll know exactly when to put forth the Jaws idea so your house mate will agree with you, and even though they're not actually listening, it's still binding. Many a difficult compromise has been made in this manner. This is 98% of what marriage counselors teach you. You're welcome.

L: Who needs a fucking marriage counselor when you have Em?! Seriously though, if 8 years of marriage has taught me anything it's that I'm an awful listener and end up agreeing to shit I would normally never want to do. Moral of the story? Pay attention, even when you don't want to (which will be 99% of the time) cause there'll be a time when you'll hypothetically end up agreeing to put something somewhere by the end of the night.

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