M: So Lin recently got a puppy. I told her all about how awesome being a pet owner is, how you come to love the little ball of fur that now relies on you for everything and follows you around like a lovesick, scrawny, nerdy teenager who has never been talked to by a girl before. I told her how awesome it is when they curl up next to you on the couch and give you the ability to say you're not drinking alone without lying. What I didn't tell her:
L: That little turd would be out of the house so damn fast if she shit on my carpet. I gotta say though, her following me around like a lovesick teenager is so damn cute but sometimes so damn annoying. It's like I turn around and she's right there like a fucking stalker. Don't event ask how many times I've stepped on her paw by simply moving a quarter of an inch to the left or right. And the cost...holy fuck...goodbye weekend shopping sprees! *crying*
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