It's All About Equality, Yo.

M: Look, prejudice is wrong. Everyone deserved to be loved. Johnny, Jack, Jose... I'm an equal opportunity drinker. You're welcome, society.

L: Yep, celebrate that shit by downing a bottle of each. Go on...it's for a good cause. Also, it should be a rule that you have to wear the hat that's on the bottle while you're drinking it. This way the people around you have something to laugh at and post on FB so all of their friends can laugh at your ass too.

M: Also they'll know that you're into equality, too, and they're more likely to share their liquor with you.

Fucking Interns

L: Can you imagine going away on vacation for a week, coming back to work and realizing everything you've worked so hard on (haha..."hard on"...sorry) is gone?! Who's to blame? Fucking interns. At least we know who to blame for Miley and Beiber. Fucktards.

M: I hate to go against Lin here, but I gotta say, it's STILL the big man's fault for either hiring the wrong interns or failing to give them adequate direction. (It's possible my many semesters working in about 5 different offices as an underpaid, overlooked and largely unchallenged co-op student had something to do with this response. Pretty sure I didn't make any seahorses, though.)

Invisible Things Are Trying to Kill Me. For Real This Time.

M: Look, man, it's not paranoia to be germaphobic when there are germs EVERYWHERE. It's just, like, common sense.

L: Ha, you remind me of my boss. Dude practically carries a can of Lysol with him wherever he goes because there are germs everywhere. What a freak. All I ask is that no one fucking sneeze or cough on me cause that shit's just nasty and you'll totally get punched in the face for it.

M: Oh. My. God. If someone sneezes or coughs on me I take a shower, burn my clothes, and take my temperature every hour for a week until I'm pretty sure I didn't catch the plague. I'm certain that World War Z flu is this season's mutation.

Unicorns DID Exists, Once

L: Well this explains why Unicorns no longer exists - some stupid bitch in a pink dress decided to feed one of them and when she was stabbed in the brain by its magical horn, her rich family sought vengeance on the magical creature and killed them all off. Cause you know, you can't tell them apart, so they just had to kill them ALL.

 M: I'm not sure if this is the sort of situation you take sides in, but in case it is I feel the need to come down on the side of the unicorn. Also they're very important, because:

 So if we all die in the zombie (or other kind of) apocalypse, it's blondie's fault.

That Time You Asked Why I Don't Diet

M: If dieting were reversed and you could lose weight by eating LOTS, I'd finally be Kate Moss.

L: Pizza and Jennifer Lawrence in one post? If I was a dude I'd totally have wood going on.

M: You can have lady-wood going on. That's allowed.

BIC. Pens for Ladies. Cos That's What We Need.

M: My first thought was "Oooooh, do they vibrate?" Sadly, no.  No, they're just ugly colours.

L: No vibrating?! It's like people don't like making money or some shit. That's a goldmine right there. Imagine all the "writing" we'd all be doing :)

M: And we'd go through them a lot faster. Amirite?

A Little Nuts

 

M: Reverse that in my case. Probably why I shouldn't have kids.

L: Kitty...she was a fucking hoot. Can you imagine going through life being called Kitty? I can. No really, I think I would have liked to be called Kitty. Not that I care for cats or anything, just seems like a fun name and I'm a pretty fun gal. Sometimes. When I'm not irritated at the world and cursing up a storm.

M: First of all, what do you mean you don't care for cats? I'd keep shtum about that, particularly around Katrin and I. Second, Kitty sounds like the name of a high school librarian or English teacher. An old one. Third and finally, you're a fun girl while you're irritated at the world and cursing up a storm.

Every House Needs One...Or Three

L: Pussy pillows - apparently not a mans sex toy. Moving on, I think I found your Christmas present, Em. And is it just me or does it look like that middle cat pillow's eating the real cat? And what's up with Lamb Chop just hanging out in the background like "Where's Waldo"? Awkward.

M: One word: Terrified. Do NOT get me one of these for Christmas. Particularly not the one on the left, it has crazy eyes. Or the one on the right, because it has vampire eyes. You know what? They're all creepy.

Creepiest. Pic. EVER.

M: Yeah, yeah, I know it's "art" 'n' shit. But it freaks me the fuck out.

L: "Art" my ass, that shit is creepy as fuck. It looks like she's gonna eat my face or steal my soul.

M: Probably both, but not necessarily in that order.

Listen Up, HBO.

M: The ladies have spoken, yo. Show us your dongs.

L: That's right, the ladies want the "D". Give it to me them already, dammit! HBO tried to step it up and give Spartacus a run for their money by giving us a peak of Eric Northman's un-fluffed tally wag at the end of this seasons True Blood but it was too little too late. Did you get that little zinger? Did ya?! Ha, I crack myself up. Really though, all that comes to mind when I hear the word "dong" is this awesome shit ->

I fucking love this movie

"Healthy Glow" My Ass

L: What is it with all these shitty magazines always putting pictures of women not sweating like a hog or dry heaving while exercising? Serious bullshit, yo. I'm 178 lbs (give or take...although I wish I could take A LOT) and there's no way in hell I've ever had a "healthy glow" while on a treadmill. Truth is, I'm a whole helluva lot like the bottom drawing. Hm...it's quiet possible someone was stalking my ass that one time I made it to the gym like 2 years ago. They even got the pit stains and holey pants right :/

M: Word. It's possible I'm even less attractive than Lin while working out, because she at least has lovely golden skin and gorgeous curly hair. I, on the other hand, am of Celtic stock. So in addition to the profusion of sweat and ratty clothing, I become an alarming shade of magenta in about 5 minutes flat, and then proceed to look as if I mistook olive oil for shampoo during my last shower. It ain't pretty, y'all.

So Let's Get This Party Started.

 

It's the beginning of a whole new thing here. So there's Lin, who is a well-established blogger of Ten on Tuesday and Random Thursday fame, not to mention a shit ton of swaps and giveaways. And then there's me, M, whose original blog inhabits some random, dark corner of the internet, but (I like to think) an interesting one. Having been bloggers for going on... oh a long time now, we're both a bit burned out by the whole thing. So one day we were having one of our customary long-winded GChat sessions, and we started chatting about the possibility of joining forces to renew our enthusiasm for the endeavour.

After much contemplation, this is what we settled on. Now, we're not sure how this is gonna go. We have no idea if we're going to stick with it or even like working together. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Mainly it'll probably end up being a bunch of shit we stumble across on the internet, but there might occasionally be something original. I guess the point is to make this somewhere you stop by if you're having a totally crap day and need a brief giggle. So here's the first bunch of random funny shit we found on the internet.

 M: Whoo *doesn't* like grumpy cat? I mean, really.
L: You know I'm gonna be singing this all g-damn day now. Yes!

 M: We choose to share this now because it is spider mating season 

and they're getting it on EVERYWHERE. It's very disturbing.
L: Kill them! Kill them with fire!

 M: Fuck yes.
L: What she said  ↑

M: *Ahem* Lin *Ahem*
L: Aw, you know me SO damn well. I want the coffee, not your damn company.

 M: We don't, as a rule, like people much.
L: Word. They tend to expect things from us, like being nice. Pfft.

M: Cos,  you know, BADASS.
L: The movie "Hot Fuzz" comes to mind. I'll be your side-kick any day. As long as I get a cape, of course.
M: We BOTH get capes!!!